How to Say “No” – Simple and Effective Refusal Tactics for Underage Drinking
Revised on 12/02/2025
It can be tricky to navigate social activities—whether in person or online—where you feel peer pressure to do something you don’t want to do, like drink alcohol underage. This is especially true when it feels like everyone is doing it. However, the numbers may surprise you. In North Carolina, approximately one in five high school students say they currently drink alcohol.
However, while the stats may show that not everyone at school is drinking alcohol underage, the pressure to drink is still there. Fortunately, it becomes much easier to manage when you have simple ways to say “No” without feeling uncool or left out—even when friends around you are drinking.
Refusal Skills to help Resist Peer Pressure
Refusal skills are techniques that can help you resist peer pressure and say “No” to things you don’t want to do. It’s easier to avoid underage drinking and other risky situations when you’re prepared with easy and effective refusal skills. Start with these six ways to say “No” without saying “No”:
- “I’m good right now.” Often, the best solution is to keep it simple.
- “I don’t want to get grounded.” Placing the blame on your parents is an easy way to avoid underage drinking. When confronted with alcohol, there’s no one better to blame than parents for deciding not to take a sip.
- “I’d rather do something else.” Sometimes, teenagers turn to drinking because they don’t feel like they have better options. Think about fun activities you can suggest to your friends instead—both in person and online. Be creative and show your friends that they don’t need alcohol to have a great time.
- “I’d be kicked out of something I care about.” If saying “No” isn’t enough, you can blame a coach or teacher who would suspend you from an activity—like theater or sports—for drinking alcohol. Even if you aren’t taking part in a school-based extracurricular pursuit, you can also explain that you don’t want to let down your gaming friends, bandmates, or other peer community. Framing it around something important to you makes your “No” stronger.
- “I’m driving tonight.” Being a responsible driver means staying sober, and it’s the perfect reason to turn down an alcoholic beverage. Remember that North Carolina has a zero-tolerance policy for underage drinkers who get behind the wheel. By saying “No,” you’ll feel confident in your ability to get yourself and your friends home safely, while avoiding the serious penalties that come with underage drinking and driving in North Carolina.
- “I have to go home.” If you get into an uncomfortable situation, it’s important for you to know that your parents or a trusted adult will come to the rescue, no questions asked. Talk to your parents and create an X-plan to have a code or word you can secretly text if you need to be picked up from a party or other location that feels unsafe. Think ahead about a few excuses you can use if you need to leave a situation without drawing attention to yourself. For example, you might say there’s something going on at home or that you need to help your family with something important. Since the priority is your safety, work together with your parents to create a plan where you will not be punished for asking for help to get out of a bad situation.
Practicing these six refusal skills will help you be prepared when you’re faced with the pressure to drink alcohol underage.
Get the Facts About Underage Drinking
Having refusal skills in your back pocket is valuable, but keeping in mind the positive reasons behind your “No” can make all the difference. The stronger your reasons, the more confident you’ll be in standing your ground. First, it’s important to understand how alcohol can negatively affect your brain development. This knowledge can reinforce your motivation to resist peer pressure. When you know the potential risks, you’ll feel more confident in your decision to say “No.” Beyond the risks, there are positive benefits to staying sober: You’ll have more energy, better focus for school and hobbies, and more time for other activities that you enjoy.
Next, developing a strong sense of self and independence can empower you to resist peer pressure. The more comfortable you are with your own identity, the easier it will be to stay true to your values, even when faced with temptation.
Another key factor is the support of like-minded friends. While many teens aren’t drinking underage, peer pressure can still be powerful. Surround yourself with friends who share your values—these can be teammates, classmates, or friends you’ve connected with online. Talk with your friends about sober ways to hang out, so you’re all on the same page about choosing fun social activities that don’t center around alcohol. When you make the choice to stay sober, saying “No” together becomes a lot easier.
Start the Conversation about Underage Drinking
Finally, the most crucial support can come from your parents or a trusted adult. Having open conversations with the adults in your life about underage drinking is key. Their guidance and support can help you practice refusal skills and give you the confidence to stand up to peer pressure.
Talk with your parents today, and you’ll be better prepared to make healthy choices when the situation arises.
Need help starting the conversation? Talk It Out NC has plenty of resources that can help you take the first step.
